The struggle continues.

My healthy eating initiative went really well for  a few months. I then had one weekend of eating frenzy.
The spell was broken and I went back to my horrible eating habits.
About a month ago I went to see my PCP and spoke to her about how I was feeling etc. She gave me a script for phentermine. I held onto it for a few weeks without filling it, thinking again that I could do this on my own. Apparently I was wrong.
So I have been taking it now for about a week or so. I feel better. I have not allowed myself onto the scale because I was afraid that if I did not see sufficient movement that I would sabotage myself.
I have been doing pretty well watching what I eat etc. But trying not to deny myself something I want so I don't go overboard later.
I have joined a support group on facebook, and as of today started tracking on MyFitnessPal.com.
I highly recommend this site. It tracks food, exercise, goals, etc. It is 100% free.
www.myfitnesspal.com

Little Red

This is my son Lucas. He has just turned 1. He is precious, loving, energetic, courageous, smart, and he makes me question my mothering skills daily.
He has no fear: jumps off the high chair, climbs out of the walker, climbs the stairs, pushes his toys to the couch so he can climb up...all of this and has decided he has no need for walking.
Shopping carts pose a particular danger as he manages to get out of every lap belt I have every put on him.
"No" means nothing to him. Raised voice has no effect. Tap on the hand (when he was trying to put his fingers in the electrical socket after having removed the safety plug) went unnoticed. At this point
Every time I think I have this sweet boy figured out, he changes the rules on me.
I am beginning to wonder if there isn't something to the notion that red haired children are WILD!
It's the end of the day. I am exhausted, and thankful that he is fast asleep.

Mini/Individual Cheesecake Recipe

Here is the recipe for those mini or individual cheesecakes:

2 bars of cream cheese (I find that Philadelphia works best)

1/2 cup of sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp of vanilla

12 Nilla Wafers (for me name brand tastes better). For a different flavor you can also use Oreo cookies.

 

Let eggs and cream cheese get to room temp.

Place all ingredients in blender.

Fill your muffin cups (I prefer to use liner, no spray needed) 3/4 of the way full. This will give you room for topping after they are baked.

Bake at 325 degrees for around 20-25 min. (My poor old oven needs a few more minutes.)

Cool on rack. The chill. Then top as desired.

Want smaller cheesecakes: use mini muffin pan, same as above just use the mini Nilla wafers, they fit perfectly.
 

It has been 20 days since my last post. I have to say that to my surprise, things have been great!

The weight is slowly comming off. I am down a few pounds. I have been eating healthier. Staying low carb, and feeling great.
I do need to exercise more. The goal is 30min 3 x per week. But I have noticed that I don't get so worn out running around with the kids as I used to.

We had the kids birthday party last week. What a blast. We stuck to a beach theme, sort of. I also added a mini beach ball and a pair of sunglasses.

Todays project was mini cheesecakes for a Relay for Life bakesale. Super easy recipie and they look even better with just a little fruit on top.

The beginning.

I have never done anything like this before. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, but rarely let people in very close.
This is my attempt to open up. If I can put this all out there in writing and simply be me then maybe I can make possitive, long lasting changes.
I am blessed with a very loving husband, two beautiful little boys, and a supportive family. As am sure is true of most everyone, I am trying to be better. A better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, person....etc.
My boys are growing so quickly. The baby just turned 1, and as a family we headed to the beach to celebrate. This picture really upset me.

It looked bad enough but then I see that my husband uploaded it to fb. I was so upset. And all I could think was how relieved I was that I had not taken my shirt off.

When we returned home there was this sense of renewed optimism in me that things could be better. That I could be healthier, which would lead to being thinner.

Those boys are going to need me to be around for them for a long time. It is my responsibility to make sure that I am healthy for them. That we all are. 

So with renewed purpose I am trying to do better...I am excited to see where this journey takes me.

As of 3/3 I have been on a low carb induction to try to increase my metabolism. I am using the Atkins model. I have used it before in my 20's and lost 80lbs, so I am confident that it will help me get started.

My initial weigh-in following vacation was 217. Today was 211.4. I am not hungry just feel unsatisfied at times. I have been off all fried food since Ash Wednesday. I won't even fry an egg. This I believe is a very important step for me. I also love using the My Fitness Pall app .

So here it is, and here I am nothing hidden, no excuses.